Map Literary: A Journal of Contemporary Writing and Art
  • About
    • Masthead
    • Submissions
    • Rachel Wetzsteon Chapbook Award
    • In Print
    • Subscribe
    • Links
    • Internship Opportunity
    • WPU MFA
  • Poetry
    • Dennis Hinrichsen Poetry
    • Daniel Biegelson
    • Natan Last
    • Jim Daniels Poetry
    • Michael Chang
    • D E Steward
    • Benjamin Paloff Poetry
    • David Dodd Lee
    • Isabelle Doyle
    • Kathleen Heil
    • Leonard Kress
    • Lauren Tess
    • Cesca Janece Waterfield
    • Billy Cancel Poetry
    • Scott Minar
    • Greg Glazner
    • Bruce McRae
    • Maureen Thorson
  • Fiction
    • Dan A. Cardoza
    • Steinur Bell, "How to Measure Rain"
    • John Reid, "Frames"
    • J. Alan Nelson, "Re Matter of the Longhorn Skull and One Ball Buck"
    • Emily Trachtenberg, "Plum"
    • Hector Donovan-Gonzalez
    • Rich Ives, "Insect People"
    • Christopher Linforth, "Zia"
    • Marlene Olin, "Wanna Ride?"
    • Jenessa Abrams, "You Never Wish That Upon Anyone"
    • Rebecca Berg, "My Father's Daughter"
    • Kevin Sterne, "Wisconsin's American Zoo (WAZOO) Invites You to Pet the Meese"
    • Eros Livieratos, "On Feeling"
    • James William Gardner, "Lowcountry Boil"
    • Guy Biederman, "Sociale"
    • Sean Trolinder, "MLA Citation Gone Wild"
    • Rebecca Hannigan, "Little"
    • Halsted M. Bernard, "Your Hands"
    • Justin Meckes, "The Gash"
    • Reb Livingston, from "Bombyonder"
    • Craig Foltz, "Without Stigma"
    • On Experimental Fiction
  • Nonfiction
    • Cal Freeman, "Loosestrife"
    • W.F. Lantry, "The Strange Beauty of the Unfamiliar"
    • Michael Roloff, "Accretion"
    • Andrew Sunshine, "John Hancock's John Hancock"
    • Jay Merill "Cherry Red"
    • JM Farkas, "First Mindedness, Second Language"
    • Elizabeth Levine, "Gay Geography"
    • John Bliss, "Keep the Change"
    • Miranda Royse, "Disgusting Woman"
    • Elena Botts, "Ode to Oceans"
    • Diane Payne, "3 micro memoirs"
    • Luc Sante, "Flesh and Bone"
    • Isobel O'Hare, "Failure: A Love Letter"
    • Melissa Wiley, "Barbed Wire Fence"
    • Ashley Wilkinson, "fractional distillation"
    • Lori Hawks, "The Fix"
  • Art
    • Douglas G. Campbell
    • Edward Supranowicz
    • Mario Loprete
    • Jean Wolff
    • Toti O'Brien
    • Maria DeGuzman
    • Geoffrey Detrani
    • Keith Moul
    • Annabelle Schafer
    • Robin Schwartz
    • Billy Cancel
    • The Scientist
    • Tim J. Myers
    • Derek Owens
    • Leonel Piraino
    • Matthew Rose
    • Jacob Spriggs
    • Koji Nagai
    • Kristin Allmer
    • Limor Sadot
    • Ark Codex
    • Dahlia Elsayed
    • Yuji Hiratsuka, "Beet Meets Meat"
    • Kasey Ramirez, "Edifice"
  • Archives
    • 2018 >
      • Poetry 2018 >
        • Carlos Hiraldo
        • Martin Ott
        • Karyn Anne Petracca
        • Donald Illich
        • James Reidel
        • Dennis Hinrichsen
      • Fiction 2018 >
        • Rebecca Pyle, "Winter Solstice"
        • Martin Rutley, "Job Offer on Seventh Heaven"
        • Matthew Baker, "Superhighway"
        • Matthew Serback, "How to Make a Boulder"
        • Pavle Radonic, "The Laboratory"
        • Arkor Kolubah, "A Touch of Comfort"
      • Nonfiction 2018 >
        • Scott Wordsman reviews Petter Lindgren
        • Alexander Clark, "Postdiluvian"
    • 2017 >
      • Fiction 2017 >
        • Kathryn Holzman, "Eating Meat"
        • Kaitlyn Burd, "Nature with You in It"
        • Katie Young Foster, "Promotion"
        • William Cordeiro, "Selections from Whispering Gallery"
        • Alexandra Renwick, "The Life of an Artifact in Duodecadal Glances"
        • Lizzi Wolf, "My Brother's Therapist"
      • Poetry 2017 >
        • Keith Mark Gaboury
        • Mark Decarteret
        • Douglas Piccinnini
        • Matthew McBride
        • Jim Daniels
        • Sally Ashton
        • Raymond Farr
      • Nonfiction 2017 >
        • Charlie Moses, "Dear Friend"
        • Pamela Woolford, "This Is What Happened"
        • Jennifer Martelli, "Phobiacompendia"
    • 2016 >
      • Fiction 2016 >
        • Loie Merritt, "The Edge of the Sea is a Strange and Beautiful Place"
        • Mitchell Grabois, "i"
        • Kelle Groom, "25 Reasons to Attend the Gala"
        • Mike Shepley, "Killing Symbols"
        • Jody Azzouni, "Owning Things"
        • Dan Gutstein, "Like Airplanes and Stars"
        • Kate Imbach, "Diamondland"
      • Poetry 2016 >
        • Jeff Alessandrelli
        • Daniel Coudriet
        • Peter Leight
        • John Wells
        • Jenna Cardinale
        • Isabelle Shepherd
        • Michael Robins
        • Will Walker
        • Bridget Sprouls
        • Allan Johnston
        • Hugh Behm-Steinberg
        • Caroline Knox
        • David Dodd Lee
        • John Deming
        • David McLoghlin
    • 2015 >
      • Poetry 2015 >
        • Adam Clay
        • Kyle Hemmings
        • Matthew Henriksen
        • Megan Kaminski
        • Emily Kendal Frey
        • Noelle Kocot
        • Katy Lederer
        • John Lowther
        • Nathaniel Sverloff
        • Franz Werfel -- James Reidel
      • Fiction 2015 >
        • Erin Bedford, "Riesenrad"
        • James Braziel, "Jick's Chevrolet"
        • James Braziel, "Vittate"
        • Adrian Class, "Or Flights"
        • Erica L. Kaufman, "It Buried Us"
        • Nolan Liebert, "Gravity of Hearts"
        • Heather Noland, "Cosmic Slump"
        • Tom Whalen, "In the Cathedral"
      • Nonfiction 2015 >
        • Rebecca Cook, "What the Hammer Said When the Hammer Hit the Girl"
        • Margot Kelley, "Companion Species"
    • Fall 2014 >
      • Poetry Fall 2014 >
        • Stephanie Anderson
        • John Buckley and Martin Ott
        • Vanessa Couto Johnson
        • John Estes
        • Anne Gorrick
        • Henry Israeli
        • Keegan Lester
        • John Loughlin
        • Douglas Luman
        • Danielle Mitchell
        • Alexandria Peary
        • Marcus Slease
        • Georg Trakl / James Reidel
      • Fiction Fall 2014 >
        • Matt Rowan, "Dog's Best Friend"
        • Kelli Anne Noftle, "Before She Was Olive"
        • Chris Okum, "Ratatat"
        • Jon Fried, "Cashing In"
        • Lisa C. Taylor, "Visible Wounds"
        • Sarah Kahn, "Break"
        • Rebekah Morton, "Big Sis"
      • Nonfiction Fall 2014 >
        • Stephen Benz, "Night Then Morning: Elko, Nevada"
        • Joseph C. Jiuliani, "Of Stealing and of Being Stolen"
        • Lindsay Chudzik, "Jailface"
        • Robert D. Vivian, "Just After Rain"
    • Spring 2014 >
      • Poetry Spring 2014 >
        • Simeon Berry
        • Molly Brodak
        • Wyn Cooper
        • Brian Foley
        • Tim Kahl
        • Caroline Knox
        • Rob MacDonald
        • Benjamin Paloff
      • Fiction Spring 2014 >
        • Gareth David Anderson, "Cupcake"
        • Halsted M. Bernard, "Your Hands"
        • Patrick Cole, "Pick-up Lines"
        • Joshua Graber, "This Fine Experience"
        • Lola Grace, "Natural Birth"
        • Robert E. Tanner, "Non-Disclosure Disagreement"
      • Art Spring 2014
    • 2012 & 2013
  • Pedagogy
Picture

CHARLIE MOSES

Dear Friend
I just got done recording vocal harmonies in a really nice studio. It was almost too nice. I sang into an original U67 mic—the kind Bob Dylan and John Lennon used. Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize earlier in the month and no one had heard a peep from him until today. Reporters were describing his silence as arrogant and he responded today by saying he was literally speechless. Wouldn’t you be? But we assume someone of that caliber wouldn’t be caught off guard by an award like that. I’ve been thinking about misinterpretation lately. I think there’s a movement of spirituality taking place that urges women to be closer in tune to their intuition as well as divine forces—love and sensing energy and the spirit world. Though it was recently Halloween season so maybe it’s more in my face. But part of me feels this movement also amplifies the misinterpretation of others. We follow our intuition but sometimes it needs clarification to avoid making an assumption. I keep being told my veil is thin. And I keep being advised to place crystals in the corners of my room. And it’s also been suggested that I pour a circle of salt around my bed and that I sage smudge the creepy coat closet and that I brush my body down with a bundle of specific herbs (that I’m forgetting the names of now). Rituals are important. I grew up Catholic. I still identify as a Catholic at least in a cultural sense but experiencing dogmatism in an extreme way has put me off to what I feel is a sort of pagan, occultist, wild feminine mash up. I think we’re all searching or reaching. I think we all want purpose and meaning. My Grandma Grigar identified as a clairvoyant. She would communicate with the dead. Her father would too. And the other night I dreamt I didn’t have a body and it was the day after my Grampy Moses had died. I was a blanket of energy that transcended time and space. I woke up and wrote to him:
 
are you the celestial watchmaker?
a blanket enveloping time
whose sleeves are 
the edges of loss and love
 
do you reside in the past present and future?
where the the bezel of your spirit
is the work of tinkers
 
please wont you wind up again?
so we can witness the brevity of your body
just one more time please
 
we were not ready
in the royal blue of october
to see your sleeves thrown over the rim
in repose
 
 
I explained the dream to my dad as well as another dream I’d had about Grampy returning from the dead. He had white light encircling his head and he looked younger. He walked in through the front door of the family cabin and it looked as if he were learning to walk for the first time and he had this huge smile on this face. The whole family was there and I turned to my Grammy speechless. She said Didn’t you hear, honey? They made a mistake. He’s not dead anymore. And in that same moment a bunny hopped through the open front door and jumped up onto the countertop where there was a large silver serving tray—the kind with handles on the sides. It was filled with oversized vegetables Grampy had grown and picked from his garden; radishes, cabbage, carrots, and celery. And the bunny began eating away at the celery—its soft, white body leaning over the tray. I could hear its small crunching sounds. Everyone in the room began cheering and celebrating and I started to cry and I woke myself up and my joy shifted into longing to be back in the dream so that I could be with his spirit again.
 
My dad told me I have a gift. I think I have an imagination. It’s why I sleep with a light on—in complete darkness my mind gets away from me and I can feel things lurking. Sometimes they feel like people and sometimes they feel like animals. I was shooting a music video last weekend and one of the locations was my childhood backyard. It’s a forest that backs up onto the Veteran’s Memorial Cemetery—the same one my Grampy’s buried at now. It was my favorite place as a kid. I would pull ropes of English ivy from the trees and wrap them around fallen branches to make walls for structures. I’d collect spiders and catch salamanders and build them habitats of twigs with leaf bedding. I buried my dog and my guinea pig there. I made paths through the ferns and I’d sneak back past the property line and hike into the cemetery on clear, brave days. And last weekend I was there in the dark walking the same trails I’d made as a girl and realizing that what the forest held in the day was a curiosity and excitement that made way for my demons to rise up at night. The trees became waxy and thin. The sounds of nighttime animals blended together to form one beast and I could sense it lurking from the tree I used to climb—beckoning me to come back. I walked in a straight line while the director of photography and camera operator projected time-lapses of the shifting sky onto my body. We did this take at least twenty times.
 
I liked getting to show them my favorite childhood place and at the same time I knew my young self wanted to keep it a secret. I could hear her raspy voice telling me so—it felt like the exploitation of something sacred, which is the same feeling I get when I see this strangely popular spiritualism in practice, because it also feels consumer based and has us buying crystals and smudges and paying money to go to workshops. Christ’s church turned into a marketplace and his reaction is to tear it all down. But what do I know? I’m so culturally Catholic I’m not even sure which passage from the bible I’m referencing and I’ve definitely bought a rosary before. My hope is that I choose to do things with an understanding of what they're rooted in or at least with an awareness as to why I choose to do them. I apply meaning to my actions and sometimes it’d be nice for someone else to tell me what the meaning is. But I don’t want a priest and I don’t want a high priestess. I assume Dylan would readily accept being awarded something as sacred as the Nobel Prize but he sat with himself first. I wonder what it was like to be Dylan attempting to apply meaning to something so large while the rest of us made assumptions or wondered about what he was feeling. Please speak to us, Bob. Are you not a righteous man? You’ve shown us so much with your words before now. Won’t you tell us what is holy? Wont you confirm the existence of the spirit?
 
Eagerly awaiting your reply.
​
Copyright © October 2017 Map Literary and Charlie Moses

Picture
Charlie Moses is a writer, performer, and visual artist from Portland where she owns and operates Kenilworth Coffeehouse. She has published creative nonfiction work in Knee-Jerk Magazine & Pom Pom Literary Journal. She has a book in the works for 2018 and her forthcoming album will be released November 17th via No Movement Records
published by
The Department of English
College of Humanities & Social Sciences
The William Paterson University of New Jersey
Copyright © 2012-2022 Map Literary
Map Literary

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  • About
    • Masthead
    • Submissions
    • Rachel Wetzsteon Chapbook Award
    • In Print
    • Subscribe
    • Links
    • Internship Opportunity
    • WPU MFA
  • Poetry
    • Dennis Hinrichsen Poetry
    • Daniel Biegelson
    • Natan Last
    • Jim Daniels Poetry
    • Michael Chang
    • D E Steward
    • Benjamin Paloff Poetry
    • David Dodd Lee
    • Isabelle Doyle
    • Kathleen Heil
    • Leonard Kress
    • Lauren Tess
    • Cesca Janece Waterfield
    • Billy Cancel Poetry
    • Scott Minar
    • Greg Glazner
    • Bruce McRae
    • Maureen Thorson
  • Fiction
    • Dan A. Cardoza
    • Steinur Bell, "How to Measure Rain"
    • John Reid, "Frames"
    • J. Alan Nelson, "Re Matter of the Longhorn Skull and One Ball Buck"
    • Emily Trachtenberg, "Plum"
    • Hector Donovan-Gonzalez
    • Rich Ives, "Insect People"
    • Christopher Linforth, "Zia"
    • Marlene Olin, "Wanna Ride?"
    • Jenessa Abrams, "You Never Wish That Upon Anyone"
    • Rebecca Berg, "My Father's Daughter"
    • Kevin Sterne, "Wisconsin's American Zoo (WAZOO) Invites You to Pet the Meese"
    • Eros Livieratos, "On Feeling"
    • James William Gardner, "Lowcountry Boil"
    • Guy Biederman, "Sociale"
    • Sean Trolinder, "MLA Citation Gone Wild"
    • Rebecca Hannigan, "Little"
    • Halsted M. Bernard, "Your Hands"
    • Justin Meckes, "The Gash"
    • Reb Livingston, from "Bombyonder"
    • Craig Foltz, "Without Stigma"
    • On Experimental Fiction
  • Nonfiction
    • Cal Freeman, "Loosestrife"
    • W.F. Lantry, "The Strange Beauty of the Unfamiliar"
    • Michael Roloff, "Accretion"
    • Andrew Sunshine, "John Hancock's John Hancock"
    • Jay Merill "Cherry Red"
    • JM Farkas, "First Mindedness, Second Language"
    • Elizabeth Levine, "Gay Geography"
    • John Bliss, "Keep the Change"
    • Miranda Royse, "Disgusting Woman"
    • Elena Botts, "Ode to Oceans"
    • Diane Payne, "3 micro memoirs"
    • Luc Sante, "Flesh and Bone"
    • Isobel O'Hare, "Failure: A Love Letter"
    • Melissa Wiley, "Barbed Wire Fence"
    • Ashley Wilkinson, "fractional distillation"
    • Lori Hawks, "The Fix"
  • Art
    • Douglas G. Campbell
    • Edward Supranowicz
    • Mario Loprete
    • Jean Wolff
    • Toti O'Brien
    • Maria DeGuzman
    • Geoffrey Detrani
    • Keith Moul
    • Annabelle Schafer
    • Robin Schwartz
    • Billy Cancel
    • The Scientist
    • Tim J. Myers
    • Derek Owens
    • Leonel Piraino
    • Matthew Rose
    • Jacob Spriggs
    • Koji Nagai
    • Kristin Allmer
    • Limor Sadot
    • Ark Codex
    • Dahlia Elsayed
    • Yuji Hiratsuka, "Beet Meets Meat"
    • Kasey Ramirez, "Edifice"
  • Archives
    • 2018 >
      • Poetry 2018 >
        • Carlos Hiraldo
        • Martin Ott
        • Karyn Anne Petracca
        • Donald Illich
        • James Reidel
        • Dennis Hinrichsen
      • Fiction 2018 >
        • Rebecca Pyle, "Winter Solstice"
        • Martin Rutley, "Job Offer on Seventh Heaven"
        • Matthew Baker, "Superhighway"
        • Matthew Serback, "How to Make a Boulder"
        • Pavle Radonic, "The Laboratory"
        • Arkor Kolubah, "A Touch of Comfort"
      • Nonfiction 2018 >
        • Scott Wordsman reviews Petter Lindgren
        • Alexander Clark, "Postdiluvian"
    • 2017 >
      • Fiction 2017 >
        • Kathryn Holzman, "Eating Meat"
        • Kaitlyn Burd, "Nature with You in It"
        • Katie Young Foster, "Promotion"
        • William Cordeiro, "Selections from Whispering Gallery"
        • Alexandra Renwick, "The Life of an Artifact in Duodecadal Glances"
        • Lizzi Wolf, "My Brother's Therapist"
      • Poetry 2017 >
        • Keith Mark Gaboury
        • Mark Decarteret
        • Douglas Piccinnini
        • Matthew McBride
        • Jim Daniels
        • Sally Ashton
        • Raymond Farr
      • Nonfiction 2017 >
        • Charlie Moses, "Dear Friend"
        • Pamela Woolford, "This Is What Happened"
        • Jennifer Martelli, "Phobiacompendia"
    • 2016 >
      • Fiction 2016 >
        • Loie Merritt, "The Edge of the Sea is a Strange and Beautiful Place"
        • Mitchell Grabois, "i"
        • Kelle Groom, "25 Reasons to Attend the Gala"
        • Mike Shepley, "Killing Symbols"
        • Jody Azzouni, "Owning Things"
        • Dan Gutstein, "Like Airplanes and Stars"
        • Kate Imbach, "Diamondland"
      • Poetry 2016 >
        • Jeff Alessandrelli
        • Daniel Coudriet
        • Peter Leight
        • John Wells
        • Jenna Cardinale
        • Isabelle Shepherd
        • Michael Robins
        • Will Walker
        • Bridget Sprouls
        • Allan Johnston
        • Hugh Behm-Steinberg
        • Caroline Knox
        • David Dodd Lee
        • John Deming
        • David McLoghlin
    • 2015 >
      • Poetry 2015 >
        • Adam Clay
        • Kyle Hemmings
        • Matthew Henriksen
        • Megan Kaminski
        • Emily Kendal Frey
        • Noelle Kocot
        • Katy Lederer
        • John Lowther
        • Nathaniel Sverloff
        • Franz Werfel -- James Reidel
      • Fiction 2015 >
        • Erin Bedford, "Riesenrad"
        • James Braziel, "Jick's Chevrolet"
        • James Braziel, "Vittate"
        • Adrian Class, "Or Flights"
        • Erica L. Kaufman, "It Buried Us"
        • Nolan Liebert, "Gravity of Hearts"
        • Heather Noland, "Cosmic Slump"
        • Tom Whalen, "In the Cathedral"
      • Nonfiction 2015 >
        • Rebecca Cook, "What the Hammer Said When the Hammer Hit the Girl"
        • Margot Kelley, "Companion Species"
    • Fall 2014 >
      • Poetry Fall 2014 >
        • Stephanie Anderson
        • John Buckley and Martin Ott
        • Vanessa Couto Johnson
        • John Estes
        • Anne Gorrick
        • Henry Israeli
        • Keegan Lester
        • John Loughlin
        • Douglas Luman
        • Danielle Mitchell
        • Alexandria Peary
        • Marcus Slease
        • Georg Trakl / James Reidel
      • Fiction Fall 2014 >
        • Matt Rowan, "Dog's Best Friend"
        • Kelli Anne Noftle, "Before She Was Olive"
        • Chris Okum, "Ratatat"
        • Jon Fried, "Cashing In"
        • Lisa C. Taylor, "Visible Wounds"
        • Sarah Kahn, "Break"
        • Rebekah Morton, "Big Sis"
      • Nonfiction Fall 2014 >
        • Stephen Benz, "Night Then Morning: Elko, Nevada"
        • Joseph C. Jiuliani, "Of Stealing and of Being Stolen"
        • Lindsay Chudzik, "Jailface"
        • Robert D. Vivian, "Just After Rain"
    • Spring 2014 >
      • Poetry Spring 2014 >
        • Simeon Berry
        • Molly Brodak
        • Wyn Cooper
        • Brian Foley
        • Tim Kahl
        • Caroline Knox
        • Rob MacDonald
        • Benjamin Paloff
      • Fiction Spring 2014 >
        • Gareth David Anderson, "Cupcake"
        • Halsted M. Bernard, "Your Hands"
        • Patrick Cole, "Pick-up Lines"
        • Joshua Graber, "This Fine Experience"
        • Lola Grace, "Natural Birth"
        • Robert E. Tanner, "Non-Disclosure Disagreement"
      • Art Spring 2014
    • 2012 & 2013
  • Pedagogy