Map Literary: A Journal of Contemporary Writing and Art
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    • Rachel Wetzsteon Chapbook Award
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  • Poetry
    • Dennis Hinrichsen Poetry
    • Daniel Biegelson
    • Natan Last
    • Jim Daniels Poetry
    • Michael Chang
    • D E Steward
    • Benjamin Paloff Poetry
    • David Dodd Lee
    • Isabelle Doyle
    • Kathleen Heil
    • Leonard Kress
    • Lauren Tess
    • Cesca Janece Waterfield
    • Billy Cancel Poetry
    • Scott Minar
    • Greg Glazner
    • Bruce McRae
    • Maureen Thorson
  • Fiction
    • Dan A. Cardoza
    • Steinur Bell, "How to Measure Rain"
    • John Reid, "Frames"
    • J. Alan Nelson, "Re Matter of the Longhorn Skull and One Ball Buck"
    • Emily Trachtenberg, "Plum"
    • Hector Donovan-Gonzalez
    • Rich Ives, "Insect People"
    • Christopher Linforth, "Zia"
    • Marlene Olin, "Wanna Ride?"
    • Jenessa Abrams, "You Never Wish That Upon Anyone"
    • Rebecca Berg, "My Father's Daughter"
    • Kevin Sterne, "Wisconsin's American Zoo (WAZOO) Invites You to Pet the Meese"
    • Eros Livieratos, "On Feeling"
    • James William Gardner, "Lowcountry Boil"
    • Guy Biederman, "Sociale"
    • Sean Trolinder, "MLA Citation Gone Wild"
    • Rebecca Hannigan, "Little"
    • Halsted M. Bernard, "Your Hands"
    • Justin Meckes, "The Gash"
    • Reb Livingston, from "Bombyonder"
    • Craig Foltz, "Without Stigma"
    • On Experimental Fiction
  • Nonfiction
    • Cal Freeman, "Loosestrife"
    • W.F. Lantry, "The Strange Beauty of the Unfamiliar"
    • Michael Roloff, "Accretion"
    • Andrew Sunshine, "John Hancock's John Hancock"
    • Jay Merill "Cherry Red"
    • JM Farkas, "First Mindedness, Second Language"
    • Elizabeth Levine, "Gay Geography"
    • John Bliss, "Keep the Change"
    • Miranda Royse, "Disgusting Woman"
    • Elena Botts, "Ode to Oceans"
    • Diane Payne, "3 micro memoirs"
    • Luc Sante, "Flesh and Bone"
    • Isobel O'Hare, "Failure: A Love Letter"
    • Melissa Wiley, "Barbed Wire Fence"
    • Ashley Wilkinson, "fractional distillation"
    • Lori Hawks, "The Fix"
  • Art
    • Douglas G. Campbell
    • Edward Supranowicz
    • Mario Loprete
    • Jean Wolff
    • Toti O'Brien
    • Maria DeGuzman
    • Geoffrey Detrani
    • Keith Moul
    • Annabelle Schafer
    • Robin Schwartz
    • Billy Cancel
    • The Scientist
    • Tim J. Myers
    • Derek Owens
    • Leonel Piraino
    • Matthew Rose
    • Jacob Spriggs
    • Koji Nagai
    • Kristin Allmer
    • Limor Sadot
    • Ark Codex
    • Dahlia Elsayed
    • Yuji Hiratsuka, "Beet Meets Meat"
    • Kasey Ramirez, "Edifice"
  • Archives
    • 2018 >
      • Poetry 2018 >
        • Carlos Hiraldo
        • Martin Ott
        • Karyn Anne Petracca
        • Donald Illich
        • James Reidel
        • Dennis Hinrichsen
      • Fiction 2018 >
        • Rebecca Pyle, "Winter Solstice"
        • Martin Rutley, "Job Offer on Seventh Heaven"
        • Matthew Baker, "Superhighway"
        • Matthew Serback, "How to Make a Boulder"
        • Pavle Radonic, "The Laboratory"
        • Arkor Kolubah, "A Touch of Comfort"
      • Nonfiction 2018 >
        • Scott Wordsman reviews Petter Lindgren
        • Alexander Clark, "Postdiluvian"
    • 2017 >
      • Fiction 2017 >
        • Kathryn Holzman, "Eating Meat"
        • Kaitlyn Burd, "Nature with You in It"
        • Katie Young Foster, "Promotion"
        • William Cordeiro, "Selections from Whispering Gallery"
        • Alexandra Renwick, "The Life of an Artifact in Duodecadal Glances"
        • Lizzi Wolf, "My Brother's Therapist"
      • Poetry 2017 >
        • Keith Mark Gaboury
        • Mark Decarteret
        • Douglas Piccinnini
        • Matthew McBride
        • Jim Daniels
        • Sally Ashton
        • Raymond Farr
      • Nonfiction 2017 >
        • Charlie Moses, "Dear Friend"
        • Pamela Woolford, "This Is What Happened"
        • Jennifer Martelli, "Phobiacompendia"
    • 2016 >
      • Fiction 2016 >
        • Loie Merritt, "The Edge of the Sea is a Strange and Beautiful Place"
        • Mitchell Grabois, "i"
        • Kelle Groom, "25 Reasons to Attend the Gala"
        • Mike Shepley, "Killing Symbols"
        • Jody Azzouni, "Owning Things"
        • Dan Gutstein, "Like Airplanes and Stars"
        • Kate Imbach, "Diamondland"
      • Poetry 2016 >
        • Jeff Alessandrelli
        • Daniel Coudriet
        • Peter Leight
        • John Wells
        • Jenna Cardinale
        • Isabelle Shepherd
        • Michael Robins
        • Will Walker
        • Bridget Sprouls
        • Allan Johnston
        • Hugh Behm-Steinberg
        • Caroline Knox
        • David Dodd Lee
        • John Deming
        • David McLoghlin
    • 2015 >
      • Poetry 2015 >
        • Adam Clay
        • Kyle Hemmings
        • Matthew Henriksen
        • Megan Kaminski
        • Emily Kendal Frey
        • Noelle Kocot
        • Katy Lederer
        • John Lowther
        • Nathaniel Sverloff
        • Franz Werfel -- James Reidel
      • Fiction 2015 >
        • Erin Bedford, "Riesenrad"
        • James Braziel, "Jick's Chevrolet"
        • James Braziel, "Vittate"
        • Adrian Class, "Or Flights"
        • Erica L. Kaufman, "It Buried Us"
        • Nolan Liebert, "Gravity of Hearts"
        • Heather Noland, "Cosmic Slump"
        • Tom Whalen, "In the Cathedral"
      • Nonfiction 2015 >
        • Rebecca Cook, "What the Hammer Said When the Hammer Hit the Girl"
        • Margot Kelley, "Companion Species"
    • Fall 2014 >
      • Poetry Fall 2014 >
        • Stephanie Anderson
        • John Buckley and Martin Ott
        • Vanessa Couto Johnson
        • John Estes
        • Anne Gorrick
        • Henry Israeli
        • Keegan Lester
        • John Loughlin
        • Douglas Luman
        • Danielle Mitchell
        • Alexandria Peary
        • Marcus Slease
        • Georg Trakl / James Reidel
      • Fiction Fall 2014 >
        • Matt Rowan, "Dog's Best Friend"
        • Kelli Anne Noftle, "Before She Was Olive"
        • Chris Okum, "Ratatat"
        • Jon Fried, "Cashing In"
        • Lisa C. Taylor, "Visible Wounds"
        • Sarah Kahn, "Break"
        • Rebekah Morton, "Big Sis"
      • Nonfiction Fall 2014 >
        • Stephen Benz, "Night Then Morning: Elko, Nevada"
        • Joseph C. Jiuliani, "Of Stealing and of Being Stolen"
        • Lindsay Chudzik, "Jailface"
        • Robert D. Vivian, "Just After Rain"
    • Spring 2014 >
      • Poetry Spring 2014 >
        • Simeon Berry
        • Molly Brodak
        • Wyn Cooper
        • Brian Foley
        • Tim Kahl
        • Caroline Knox
        • Rob MacDonald
        • Benjamin Paloff
      • Fiction Spring 2014 >
        • Gareth David Anderson, "Cupcake"
        • Halsted M. Bernard, "Your Hands"
        • Patrick Cole, "Pick-up Lines"
        • Joshua Graber, "This Fine Experience"
        • Lola Grace, "Natural Birth"
        • Robert E. Tanner, "Non-Disclosure Disagreement"
      • Art Spring 2014
    • 2012 & 2013
  • Pedagogy
Picture

DIANE PAYNE
​

Easter Walk With Dogs
​


Maybe because it’s Easter, that while walking with the dogs in the woods, I think there’s a baby floating in the pond, barely alive, but there’s no baby Moses floating in the muddy pond.  And then I think of that weird Bible story where one woman rolls over in bed and crushes her newborn, so she sneaks out of bed and steals the newborn from another woman.  I don’t remember the Sunday school teachers calling this a brothel, but it seemed to be a story they all liked to tell.  Rather gruesome story.   Maybe the mothers were Solomon’s harem, and that’s why he just happens to be around the baby and mothers while they are arguing about whose baby is the live one and whose baby is the dead one. Solomon tells them to cut the live baby in half so they can both have a baby.  He probably figures the baby is his so he should have the final say. When he realizes the real mother is the one who is willing to spare the child to the other woman, he hands the baby over to her, and Solomon gets all the praise for being such a wise man to make decisions for these women. After hearing this story, my belly button became off limits, something I really didn’t want touched.  I was certain I could see the dividing line spread from my belly button over my stomach, and wondered if I could still be cut in half because my parents may divorce and would insist on each taking half of me. Perhaps I should just go to the store and grab some jelly beans, a couple chocolate Easter bunnies, eat those until I feel physically ill, anything but feeling spiritually ill.



Vet


​
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
 
Friend texts about how their pet sitter asked her husband to help put her Chow in car to take to vet.  Apparently, she thought it was time to put the dog down. Friend’s husband goes to help hoist dog in car and the dog bites him in the face hard enough that he needs to go get stitches.  That dog wasn’t going to gently into the night or any such thing.  Imagine your last memories of dead dog being that he bit someone’s face when you were loading him into the car for that final visit with the vet. I brought Logan to  the vet today.  Enough of the damn hot spot.  Soon I will be gone for a few days.  Who knows when pet sitter will think about his hot spot? Jim Harrison died yesterday. I think of him being quite alive standing outside with his dogs in the Arizona desert.



Old Boyfriend


​
I miss my old stamina. I’d begin reading a great book, then not stop until it was over. I lived in cottage on a small lake with my boyfriend.  He loved to get high and fish.  I enjoyed swimming across the lake and jogging with the dogs.  Boyfriend reread all the Carlos Castaneda books.  Over and over.  I couldn’t put down Les Misérables.   At one point, he asked me to read aloud to him. He didn’t care that I was half way finished with the book.  I read aloud, page after page. Eventually he went to bed and I stayed up until morning, finishing the book. 
 
We moved out of the cottage and into a shack in another town. I grew restless with our romance. We parted.  He left me suicidal notes where we were characters from Les Misérables.   His grandmother called asking me to take him back because he said he wouldn’t eat until we were back together.  He loved to eat, needed to eat—one of those low blood sugar people who grew angry when they haven’t eaten. Angry, not suicidal.
 
I wonder if he ever picked up Les Misérables and actually read it to the end. Or if he’s still reading The Teachings of Don Juan, longing for peyote and surreal wisdom.  How quickly he forgot his spiritual shaman’s advice:  The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.
 
I remember one visit when his mother was brushing her daughters’ hair, then said it was my turn, and I wished my life could always be just like this, nothing more.

​
Copyright © 2016 Map Literary

Picture
Diane Payne is the author of Burning Tulips (Red Hen Press) and her most recent publications include: Watershed Review, Tishman Review, Whiskey Island, Kudzu House Quarterly, Superstition Review, Burrow Press, and Cheat River Review.  She is the MFA Director at University of Arkansas-Monticello.

published by
The Department of English
College of Humanities & Social Sciences
The William Paterson University of New Jersey
Copyright © 2012-2022 Map Literary
Map Literary

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  • About
    • Masthead
    • Submissions
    • Rachel Wetzsteon Chapbook Award
    • In Print
    • Subscribe
    • Links
    • Internship Opportunity
    • WPU MFA
  • Poetry
    • Dennis Hinrichsen Poetry
    • Daniel Biegelson
    • Natan Last
    • Jim Daniels Poetry
    • Michael Chang
    • D E Steward
    • Benjamin Paloff Poetry
    • David Dodd Lee
    • Isabelle Doyle
    • Kathleen Heil
    • Leonard Kress
    • Lauren Tess
    • Cesca Janece Waterfield
    • Billy Cancel Poetry
    • Scott Minar
    • Greg Glazner
    • Bruce McRae
    • Maureen Thorson
  • Fiction
    • Dan A. Cardoza
    • Steinur Bell, "How to Measure Rain"
    • John Reid, "Frames"
    • J. Alan Nelson, "Re Matter of the Longhorn Skull and One Ball Buck"
    • Emily Trachtenberg, "Plum"
    • Hector Donovan-Gonzalez
    • Rich Ives, "Insect People"
    • Christopher Linforth, "Zia"
    • Marlene Olin, "Wanna Ride?"
    • Jenessa Abrams, "You Never Wish That Upon Anyone"
    • Rebecca Berg, "My Father's Daughter"
    • Kevin Sterne, "Wisconsin's American Zoo (WAZOO) Invites You to Pet the Meese"
    • Eros Livieratos, "On Feeling"
    • James William Gardner, "Lowcountry Boil"
    • Guy Biederman, "Sociale"
    • Sean Trolinder, "MLA Citation Gone Wild"
    • Rebecca Hannigan, "Little"
    • Halsted M. Bernard, "Your Hands"
    • Justin Meckes, "The Gash"
    • Reb Livingston, from "Bombyonder"
    • Craig Foltz, "Without Stigma"
    • On Experimental Fiction
  • Nonfiction
    • Cal Freeman, "Loosestrife"
    • W.F. Lantry, "The Strange Beauty of the Unfamiliar"
    • Michael Roloff, "Accretion"
    • Andrew Sunshine, "John Hancock's John Hancock"
    • Jay Merill "Cherry Red"
    • JM Farkas, "First Mindedness, Second Language"
    • Elizabeth Levine, "Gay Geography"
    • John Bliss, "Keep the Change"
    • Miranda Royse, "Disgusting Woman"
    • Elena Botts, "Ode to Oceans"
    • Diane Payne, "3 micro memoirs"
    • Luc Sante, "Flesh and Bone"
    • Isobel O'Hare, "Failure: A Love Letter"
    • Melissa Wiley, "Barbed Wire Fence"
    • Ashley Wilkinson, "fractional distillation"
    • Lori Hawks, "The Fix"
  • Art
    • Douglas G. Campbell
    • Edward Supranowicz
    • Mario Loprete
    • Jean Wolff
    • Toti O'Brien
    • Maria DeGuzman
    • Geoffrey Detrani
    • Keith Moul
    • Annabelle Schafer
    • Robin Schwartz
    • Billy Cancel
    • The Scientist
    • Tim J. Myers
    • Derek Owens
    • Leonel Piraino
    • Matthew Rose
    • Jacob Spriggs
    • Koji Nagai
    • Kristin Allmer
    • Limor Sadot
    • Ark Codex
    • Dahlia Elsayed
    • Yuji Hiratsuka, "Beet Meets Meat"
    • Kasey Ramirez, "Edifice"
  • Archives
    • 2018 >
      • Poetry 2018 >
        • Carlos Hiraldo
        • Martin Ott
        • Karyn Anne Petracca
        • Donald Illich
        • James Reidel
        • Dennis Hinrichsen
      • Fiction 2018 >
        • Rebecca Pyle, "Winter Solstice"
        • Martin Rutley, "Job Offer on Seventh Heaven"
        • Matthew Baker, "Superhighway"
        • Matthew Serback, "How to Make a Boulder"
        • Pavle Radonic, "The Laboratory"
        • Arkor Kolubah, "A Touch of Comfort"
      • Nonfiction 2018 >
        • Scott Wordsman reviews Petter Lindgren
        • Alexander Clark, "Postdiluvian"
    • 2017 >
      • Fiction 2017 >
        • Kathryn Holzman, "Eating Meat"
        • Kaitlyn Burd, "Nature with You in It"
        • Katie Young Foster, "Promotion"
        • William Cordeiro, "Selections from Whispering Gallery"
        • Alexandra Renwick, "The Life of an Artifact in Duodecadal Glances"
        • Lizzi Wolf, "My Brother's Therapist"
      • Poetry 2017 >
        • Keith Mark Gaboury
        • Mark Decarteret
        • Douglas Piccinnini
        • Matthew McBride
        • Jim Daniels
        • Sally Ashton
        • Raymond Farr
      • Nonfiction 2017 >
        • Charlie Moses, "Dear Friend"
        • Pamela Woolford, "This Is What Happened"
        • Jennifer Martelli, "Phobiacompendia"
    • 2016 >
      • Fiction 2016 >
        • Loie Merritt, "The Edge of the Sea is a Strange and Beautiful Place"
        • Mitchell Grabois, "i"
        • Kelle Groom, "25 Reasons to Attend the Gala"
        • Mike Shepley, "Killing Symbols"
        • Jody Azzouni, "Owning Things"
        • Dan Gutstein, "Like Airplanes and Stars"
        • Kate Imbach, "Diamondland"
      • Poetry 2016 >
        • Jeff Alessandrelli
        • Daniel Coudriet
        • Peter Leight
        • John Wells
        • Jenna Cardinale
        • Isabelle Shepherd
        • Michael Robins
        • Will Walker
        • Bridget Sprouls
        • Allan Johnston
        • Hugh Behm-Steinberg
        • Caroline Knox
        • David Dodd Lee
        • John Deming
        • David McLoghlin
    • 2015 >
      • Poetry 2015 >
        • Adam Clay
        • Kyle Hemmings
        • Matthew Henriksen
        • Megan Kaminski
        • Emily Kendal Frey
        • Noelle Kocot
        • Katy Lederer
        • John Lowther
        • Nathaniel Sverloff
        • Franz Werfel -- James Reidel
      • Fiction 2015 >
        • Erin Bedford, "Riesenrad"
        • James Braziel, "Jick's Chevrolet"
        • James Braziel, "Vittate"
        • Adrian Class, "Or Flights"
        • Erica L. Kaufman, "It Buried Us"
        • Nolan Liebert, "Gravity of Hearts"
        • Heather Noland, "Cosmic Slump"
        • Tom Whalen, "In the Cathedral"
      • Nonfiction 2015 >
        • Rebecca Cook, "What the Hammer Said When the Hammer Hit the Girl"
        • Margot Kelley, "Companion Species"
    • Fall 2014 >
      • Poetry Fall 2014 >
        • Stephanie Anderson
        • John Buckley and Martin Ott
        • Vanessa Couto Johnson
        • John Estes
        • Anne Gorrick
        • Henry Israeli
        • Keegan Lester
        • John Loughlin
        • Douglas Luman
        • Danielle Mitchell
        • Alexandria Peary
        • Marcus Slease
        • Georg Trakl / James Reidel
      • Fiction Fall 2014 >
        • Matt Rowan, "Dog's Best Friend"
        • Kelli Anne Noftle, "Before She Was Olive"
        • Chris Okum, "Ratatat"
        • Jon Fried, "Cashing In"
        • Lisa C. Taylor, "Visible Wounds"
        • Sarah Kahn, "Break"
        • Rebekah Morton, "Big Sis"
      • Nonfiction Fall 2014 >
        • Stephen Benz, "Night Then Morning: Elko, Nevada"
        • Joseph C. Jiuliani, "Of Stealing and of Being Stolen"
        • Lindsay Chudzik, "Jailface"
        • Robert D. Vivian, "Just After Rain"
    • Spring 2014 >
      • Poetry Spring 2014 >
        • Simeon Berry
        • Molly Brodak
        • Wyn Cooper
        • Brian Foley
        • Tim Kahl
        • Caroline Knox
        • Rob MacDonald
        • Benjamin Paloff
      • Fiction Spring 2014 >
        • Gareth David Anderson, "Cupcake"
        • Halsted M. Bernard, "Your Hands"
        • Patrick Cole, "Pick-up Lines"
        • Joshua Graber, "This Fine Experience"
        • Lola Grace, "Natural Birth"
        • Robert E. Tanner, "Non-Disclosure Disagreement"
      • Art Spring 2014
    • 2012 & 2013
  • Pedagogy