KARYS RHEA
Krenshaw and Gage Exchange Text Messages
Krenshaw woke up and was surprised to see three voice-text messages from Gage on her phone.
Apparently, he had sent them the day before. How had she missed them?
She and Gage met about a week prior on a dating app. They went on one in-person date together
and, on paper, Gage checked several boxes -- most of the important ones, anyway. He was fun,
successful, relatively attractive, Jewish, pro-Israel, and looking for a serious relationship that
would eventually lead to marriage, kids, and the whole family shebang.
But Krenshaw had reservations about Gage. He had a particularly loud speaking voice that
reminded her a little bit of bro culture. And she was finding it difficult to generate a strong
physical attraction to him right off the bat. Still, she was willing to try again. After all, they had
only gone on one date, and Gage was a delightful guy. She was looking forward to getting to
know him better.
Since their date, Gage had been checking in with Krenshaw regularly. But the following
weekend, Krenshaw received an out-of-the-blue text from him that said he didn’t think they were
a “good match.” Krenshaw was mildly disappointed and, at the same time, curiously intrigued.
She wanted to know more. What had led to his decision to end things with her? Krenshaw wasn’t
sure if they were compatible herself – perhaps he sensed her ambiguity and wanted to
preemptively protect himself? Krenshaw had no idea.
She replied to his text, asking if they could talk about it over the phone. Hours went by, then
days. No response from Gage. Krenshaw assumed at this point he had ghosted her. But now, two
days later, Krenshaw was listening to three text-recordings from him. They were a little hard to
make out, and Krenshaw decided to call him up instead of trying to decipher them.
She dialed his number. A girl picked up. “Hi, it’s Krenshaw,” said Krenshaw. “Is Gage there?”
“Gage is still waking up, and he’s actually with Landen right now.”
Who's Landen?
“And why are you stalking him anyway?” asked the girl. “You show up at his building and
knock on every single door looking for him? Not cool...”
Krenshaw should have been insulted by the false accusations, but she sort-of liked this girl, who
she assumed was either a close friend or relative of Gage’s. Krenshaw imagined she was one of
those overweight girls with beautiful skin and a lovely face.
“I’m a little confused why you would say I’m ‘stalking’ Gage,” Krenshaw calmly replied. “I
never showed up at his apartment. That’s some crazy high school shit. All I did was send him
few text messages. I heard from him early today, so I wanted to follow up with a phone call.”
“Oh!” remarked the girl, seemingly satisfied with Krenshaw’s explanation. “Gage!!!” the girl
called out. “You got Krenshaw on the phone!!”
“Krenshaw!” Krenshaw heard Gage shout in the background.
After some banter and shuffling around, he came to the phone. “What’s up girl???”
Krenshaw was a little peeved by his nonchalance. “Ummm...what’s up is that you just randomly
ended things with me after one date, which I respect...but I thought we potentially had a
connection and just wanted to have a proper discussion about it.”
But before Gage could respond, Krenshaw realized she had to feed her cat and was already late
for her friend’s birthday party.
Getting closure with Gage would have to wait.
Apparently, he had sent them the day before. How had she missed them?
She and Gage met about a week prior on a dating app. They went on one in-person date together
and, on paper, Gage checked several boxes -- most of the important ones, anyway. He was fun,
successful, relatively attractive, Jewish, pro-Israel, and looking for a serious relationship that
would eventually lead to marriage, kids, and the whole family shebang.
But Krenshaw had reservations about Gage. He had a particularly loud speaking voice that
reminded her a little bit of bro culture. And she was finding it difficult to generate a strong
physical attraction to him right off the bat. Still, she was willing to try again. After all, they had
only gone on one date, and Gage was a delightful guy. She was looking forward to getting to
know him better.
Since their date, Gage had been checking in with Krenshaw regularly. But the following
weekend, Krenshaw received an out-of-the-blue text from him that said he didn’t think they were
a “good match.” Krenshaw was mildly disappointed and, at the same time, curiously intrigued.
She wanted to know more. What had led to his decision to end things with her? Krenshaw wasn’t
sure if they were compatible herself – perhaps he sensed her ambiguity and wanted to
preemptively protect himself? Krenshaw had no idea.
She replied to his text, asking if they could talk about it over the phone. Hours went by, then
days. No response from Gage. Krenshaw assumed at this point he had ghosted her. But now, two
days later, Krenshaw was listening to three text-recordings from him. They were a little hard to
make out, and Krenshaw decided to call him up instead of trying to decipher them.
She dialed his number. A girl picked up. “Hi, it’s Krenshaw,” said Krenshaw. “Is Gage there?”
“Gage is still waking up, and he’s actually with Landen right now.”
Who's Landen?
“And why are you stalking him anyway?” asked the girl. “You show up at his building and
knock on every single door looking for him? Not cool...”
Krenshaw should have been insulted by the false accusations, but she sort-of liked this girl, who
she assumed was either a close friend or relative of Gage’s. Krenshaw imagined she was one of
those overweight girls with beautiful skin and a lovely face.
“I’m a little confused why you would say I’m ‘stalking’ Gage,” Krenshaw calmly replied. “I
never showed up at his apartment. That’s some crazy high school shit. All I did was send him
few text messages. I heard from him early today, so I wanted to follow up with a phone call.”
“Oh!” remarked the girl, seemingly satisfied with Krenshaw’s explanation. “Gage!!!” the girl
called out. “You got Krenshaw on the phone!!”
“Krenshaw!” Krenshaw heard Gage shout in the background.
After some banter and shuffling around, he came to the phone. “What’s up girl???”
Krenshaw was a little peeved by his nonchalance. “Ummm...what’s up is that you just randomly
ended things with me after one date, which I respect...but I thought we potentially had a
connection and just wanted to have a proper discussion about it.”
But before Gage could respond, Krenshaw realized she had to feed her cat and was already late
for her friend’s birthday party.
Getting closure with Gage would have to wait.
Copyright © April 2024 Karys Rhea
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Karys Rhea writes absurdist short stories. They are exceedingly short. They are exceedingly absurd. If you happen to have read one and didn't get it, then you did.
