MICHAEL CHANG
ode to auer deference*
*In administrative law, Auer deference is a principle of judicial review that requires federal courts to yield to an agency’s interpretation of its own ambiguous regulation.
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Remix baby
Put it on loop
(1) Copy rhythm
(2) Look at lyrics
(3) Insert theme into lyrics
(4) Has to match song
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Which Castro?
Actually
Which Jonas Brother?
Date/Marry/Kill
I think Ashley Tisdale (?)
Said
Among Zac Efron and the Sprouse Twins
She would kill Zac and do something with the Twins
I have a sneaking suspicion
I love you
Or that Zac Efron can’t get over me
I love you
I hate salad
Unless it’s potato salad
Or egg salad
Country estate somewhere in Virginia
Stables
Motion detectors
Locked out of heaven
Don’t try so fucking hard!
Sitting here thinking about my new shearling coat
It’s dark blue
Or midnight
Or navy
Midnight blue is my mom’s favorite color
My coat is made of the softest shearling
Made in Italy
Its brand is Thom Browne
It cost a fortune
(Of course)
That’s part of the appeal
(Duh)
I think of all the places I can take my beautiful shearling coat
I know you’re jealous
The British Museum
Tate Modern
Trafalgar Square
I think my shearling coat will get me the requisite attention
The finance bros are gawking
They know what’s up
REAL recognize REAL
And now all I need
Is for them to worship me even more
For my keen powers of observation
And my strategic mind
And my generosity of spirit
And my discerning taste
And my phenomenal palate
I know all the things you love about me
And
I won’t forget!
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|
Fucked up
White Crystal Dope Soft Fuck Cloud Sea Tree Bird Alligator Mao Fidel Nixon Whole Motherfucking |
Love
Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love Love |
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The defense calls Meredith Monk to the stand
Ms. Monk please place your left hand on the Bible
Raise your right hand
Do you swear to tell the truth
Nothing but the truth
So help you God
I do
Thank you Ms. Monk you may be seated
Ms. Monk
Javier testified that until Old Town Road overtook
it, the macarena was the most played song in human
history. What say you?
Well, there are billions of people in the world with terrible
taste. Unlike the fine people in my Monk Pack, MIND
READERS from across the world, the masses of people
have foul taste. It is appalling to be a MIND READER
trapped in this clear famine of beauty. It is desolate. When
I and the Monk Pack MIND READERS go to places
like Penn Station or Grand Central, we’re screaming inside.
I once read an article by Van Jones . . .
Ms. Monk let me stop you right there. Please
answer the question as it was posed to you. Do you
have a problem with that?
My problem is YOU!
How can YOU sit in judgment of me, MacArthur Genius
Grant awardee Meredith Monk?
We’re not sitting in judgment of you, Ms. Monk
You are our side’s expert witness
Goddamnit let me have my music and
Bring out the dancing lobsters
= - = - = =
• •
• •
• • 三 三 三
• •
•
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
The defense calls Meredith Monk to the stand
Ms. Monk please place your left hand on the Bible
Raise your right hand
Do you swear to tell the truth
Nothing but the truth
So help you God
I do
Thank you Ms. Monk you may be seated
Ms. Monk
Javier testified that until Old Town Road overtook
it, the macarena was the most played song in human
history. What say you?
Well, there are billions of people in the world with terrible
taste. Unlike the fine people in my Monk Pack, MIND
READERS from across the world, the masses of people
have foul taste. It is appalling to be a MIND READER
trapped in this clear famine of beauty. It is desolate. When
I and the Monk Pack MIND READERS go to places
like Penn Station or Grand Central, we’re screaming inside.
I once read an article by Van Jones . . .
Ms. Monk let me stop you right there. Please
answer the question as it was posed to you. Do you
have a problem with that?
My problem is YOU!
How can YOU sit in judgment of me, MacArthur Genius
Grant awardee Meredith Monk?
We’re not sitting in judgment of you, Ms. Monk
You are our side’s expert witness
Goddamnit let me have my music and
Bring out the dancing lobsters
= - = - = =
sunday poem 7533967
he knew about saltwater taffy which is to say he knew red swimsuit
and jersey shore which is to say ok boomer which is to say i was today
years old when i learned this which is to say if a joke is told on snl is that
the kiss of death which is to say i listened to your most controversial food
opinion which is to say pretty green eyes that forgive which is to say it’s
cuffing season which is to say too handsome to be taken seriously cedric diggory
which is to say kill the spare which is to say urgent and necessary which is to say
joe biden is one of us which is to say he knows the cost of a gallon of milk in 1978
which is to say sending a kid to college in 1980 which is to say sending a kid off
to war in 1990 which is to say i stand with joe because which is to say he stands
up for the pharmaceuticals and wall street which is to say somewhere in my car
which is to say daring and vital voice which is to say don’t pull your punches
which is to say 明察秋毫 which is to say know your references
which is to say we deserve to laugh which is to say we deserve to be entertained
which is to say “doorwalkers” which is to say i thought you said “dogwalkers”
which is to say “extra men” which is to say “confirmed bachelors” which is to say
polite society which is to say bill blass and charles addams and norman
mailer and halston which is to say valentine to ___ which is to say the same
conversation swimmingin my head which is to say my mother would’ve named
me victoria if i were a girl which is to say gramsci said history teaches but has
no pupils which is to say i admittedly don’t feel as angry (?) as i should about
billionaires buying the election which is to say don’t revoke my progressive card which
is to say any of them would be better than #45 which is to say except tulsi gabbard
which is to say bloomberg is problematic but semi-competent which is to say
buttigieg gets mad when challenged and his face puffs up and he has zero support
with people of color which is to say does he even love chasten which is to say kamala
should be catching fire which is to say klobuchar is a nutjob plain and simple which is
to say she was shaking like a leaf which is to say midwest means white which is to
say that’s disqualifying which is to say who’s our standard-bearer which is to say
what about post-heart-attack bernie which is to say do the debates matter which
is to say warren has a plan for that which is to say god laughs ha ha ha which is
to say tattoo sleeves on lean beckham arms which is to say brooklyn which is to
say play him like a ken doll which is to say l’amour n’existe pas, mais la preuve
d’amour existe which is to say am i supposed to find adam driver attractive
le bain de cristal
rené magritte, circa 1946—49
. . .
. . .
Madame President
I rise today
Ass crack of dawn
An outfit that works
Jeter’s not my dog, I just support him
I’m flattered when mistaken for a college student
I didn’t realize ear candling was junk science
I don’t know where my yearbooks have gone
I’m not writing about gun violence
Who wants to read about that?
I read the Wikipedia entries of scary movies
Like the Crow with Brandon Lee
What if you were trapped in an airline magazine?
Midwestern steakhouses, shitty sweatshop shirts
Conventionally-attractive whiteboys
The world is right there but you stay in Omaha
Boys love your wood sage & sea salt
Their heads whip around
They ask you to dance
Take that, Becky
It isn’t healthy to dwell on how unresponsive Congress is
We all know Congress doesn’t do shit
Yes it’s completely captured by industry
I’d rather talk about my special interest in you
Your term-limit proposal is garbage
Because you’ll have new people who can’t even find the bathroom
And they’re going to be equally corrupt
So you’re really just trading a bunch of incontinent hacks for another
On Earth We’re Briefly (Cherry Chapstick)
When I Grow Up I Want to Be a List of (Funny Azn Writers)
White Rabbit Creamy Candy
Edible Chinese paper soft and inoffensive
In your mind you’ve moved in with him
Living together in that Potemkin village
Your immigrant work ethic
Time waits for no man
You really like his
Big, uncut
Structural
Change
I like when whiteboy-Azn girl couples stare at me
With the full realization
That they have both
Narrowly escaped my clutches
Your poetry is pointless rambling
Your poetry is a screaming queen
Your poetry is evil poet Chen Chen
Let’s instead have our pillowtalk about superdelegates
It’s not colonialism
It’s sadism
Forget hearts and minds
Why don’t you follow your own advice?
People think politicians don’t care because nothing ever changes
They’re right
People think politics is elitist
Yes but clearly any buffoon can do it
People think party labels define someone’s character
In this day and age, maybe
People think what they do matters to humanity
If you’re rich and white, maybe
They say I write for dominant gaze
But
No
I write for subs too
Citizens United
No money no honey
Happy wife happy life
Mother’s milk of poetry
You bloom
You ache
You want justice
Butterface Ansel Elgort folds me into origami
If we had an actual conversation
You would know that “anything”
means
“anything but Chinese”
No fats
No femmes
No Azns
No fun
You thought Oscar de la Renta still alive
You confused fugu (pufferfish) with fugue (????)
You mistook me for my Azn colleague
Haha jokes I have no Azn colleagues
So many poets are all doom and gloom
When there’s a blackout, the murderers come out
It’s that type of society
What do you want from me?
Her new bloke looks like partial birth abortion
The heart of a flea and the brain of a shark
Notable talent
Catch sperm with mouth
Culture warrior’s manifesto
How to be alone
Dirty hustler
You are bent
Where are you really from
The future
Your English is very good
Yeah and you look like Leni Riefenstahl cousin
You people are so smart
Yeah just don’t make me do calculus
Honeypot
Waiting for heartache
Fast love orange Play-Doh
Tangy despacito lime meringue pie
“Sweet is the memory of past troubles.”—Cicero
Dear Sir or Madam
Sounds too binary
So are we back to
To Whom It May Concern
They parrot the talking points
They say the right lines
They make you believe
But it’s a shell game
Watch their hands
They still vote wrong
. . .
. . .
Copyright © March 2021 Michael Chang
MICHAEL CHANG (they/them) :: a Lambda Literary fellow, Michael was awarded the Kundiman Scholarship at the Miami Writers Institute. A finalist in contests at the Iowa Review, BOMB, NightBlock, & many others, their poems have been nominated for Best of the Net & the Pushcart Prize. Their full-length collection is forthcoming from Really Serious Literature, & their collection drakkar noir won the Bateau Press BOOM Chapbook Contest. Other projects will soon be announced.
